Blighters Rock

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Blighter is something of a derogatory term.  Like I wouldn’t call my son a little blighter.  I might call someone else’s son a little blighter, especially if that little blighter were doing something mean to my little, eh hem, incarnation of perfection.

I don’t do well with mean.  Bullies suck.  Persons who use threats or intimidation to get their way ought to be exiled to their own dreadful country to threaten and intimidate each other away into oblivion.  Just my opinion, sure.  But it gives you a window into my worldview.

On this note, Jesus was so not mean.  He didn’t bully, threaten, intimidate, coerce, force, or use violence to get his way.  Yeah, he overturned the tables at the Temple once.  But these were tables, not people.  I’m willing to assume no one got hurt.  Except for maybe a sacrificial bird or two.  But remember that episode in the garden, that time when Peter drew a sword and lopped off some guy’s ear?  What did Jesus do then?  He picked up the ear and miraculously reattached it and healed the guy.  A guy who intended to harm Jesus!  Violently!

No, Jesus was no bully.

Jesus was no blighter either.

But why do I say “blighters rock” in my title?

Truthfully, it’s an adapted spoonerism.  I’ve been experiencing some writer’s block recently with my blog, so I thought I’d blog about it.  But to put “writer’s block” as my title is plainly and simply boring.  And “blighter’s wrock” is confusing.  So I’ve changed the spelling to form sensible words.  It still sounds the same, just spelled sensibly.  So then would this be called a homophonic spoonerism?

Anyway it has nothing to do with my opinion of blighters, bullies, intimidators, coercers, hazers, and other such fools.

But that’s just the thing with spoonerisms.

Sure, sometimes they work well, like instead of “I’m gonna take a shower” I say “shake a tower.”  Here it makes perfect sense both in sound and spelling.  But if I’m barbequing hamburgers for dinner, bound grief makes a lot more sense than bound greef, though technically the spelling of the latter is the true spoonerism for ground beef.

Yet when someone hears me say, “Please go grab the bound greef from the fridge,” they’re actually thinking “bound grief.”  A quarter pound of it, in fact, with a little cilantro and garlic mixed in for good measure, all worked into a patty ready for charcoal heat.  And don’t forget to kill the grail–I mean, grill the kale.

So I’m all in favor of homophonic rather than technical spoonerisms.

Just saying.

There is another reason I’m in favor of homophonic spoonerisms, by the way.  It has to do with the boring aspect I mentioned above.  Homophonics are simply more fun when it comes to relaying messages.

For instance:

Hear Dunny,

Dawn to the boar to guy stinner.  Sut do you weigh?  Milet fignon, wed rhine, and grotatoes pow oughten?  Thinking about a sedge talad woo, with pandied kecans, slapple ices, chorgonzola jeez, and walnuts.  If you get foam by clive o’hawk and ink of thanything else, sieve me a gall on my kell.

Mauve, Lee

Translation:

Dear Honey,

Gone to the store to buy dinner.  What do you say?  Filet mignon, red wine, and potatoes au gratin?  Thinking about a wedge salad too, with candied pecans, apple slices, gorgonzola cheese, and walnuts.  If you get home by five o’clock and think of anything else, give me a call on my cell.

Love, Me

You see?  It’s more fun this way.  Besides, this is a blog for the kids.  And if I don’t change the spelling–if I go for technical over homophonic–I get “Shat do you way?” as my question.  Not only does this change the sound significantly, it brings a PG-13 rated word into the mix, or at least the past tense of it.

Well, that’s my blighter’s attempt to unrock.  Think I’ll shake a tower now.

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